My Chi (energy) has taken an upturn in the last week! I believe that a turning point or shift has taken place in my healing process. Good news I would say after what has been two rather difficult months in July and August. So what is the cause of this shift? I would say there is not just one factor, rather a convergence of a few factors at the same point in time.
I have now had 17 high dosage vitamin C & Ozone IV treatments and consumed a lot of anti cancer supplements in the past six weeks. I can feel the accumulative effect of this new treatment and this is building my confidence. Also the wound from my hernia op has healed now to a point where I am able to exercise again, lifting 5k dumbbells, cycling, walking more and doing 25mins Zhan Zhuang every day, that feels good!
Last weekend I did my second liver cleanse, which released a lot of garbage from my liver and this week I had another colon cleanse to clean out the residue, this is a sure fire, energy giving pair of treatments. And then there is the Japanese Acupuncture treatment that I had last tuesday, subtle and helping to lift my "Chi".
One week ago Jenny and I had a meeting with my GP (General Practitioner Doctor) as a part of our preparation for scenario X, X stands for exit, namely my exit from this world, not the easiest subject for us nor for you as our family member or loved one to address. Nonetheless we felt that given the circumstances it was wise for us to get informed and make appropriate plans now in case scenario X becomes a reality. Our plan was to gather the relevant info, make a decision and then park the subject until required, like we do with a last will & testament. We asked our doctor to inform us about what happens to the body from the point when the liver begins to disfunction and what options we would have in terms of care at that final stage. As a result, clearly the hospice option would offer better support and be preferable to being at home with home helps or in the hospital.
Although hard to listen to, this meeting brought me rest from the "what if" thinking about eXit scenario's, which have been bothering me since the gloomy news from the last CT scan in June. We made our eXit plan and put it in the drawer next to the Last Will & Testaments. Hopefully we won't need it.
In addition to all the above, a week ago I read the last chapter of "Radical Remission" (surviving cancer against all odds) where Dr Kelly Turner documents her research into long term cancer survivors and points out the recurring nine key factors in their stories that can make a real difference. The last chapter is "Having Strong Reasons for Living" where she makes clear distinctions between having a fighting spirit, which can actually weaken the immune system, and having strong reasons for living that evoke vital immune boosting hormones such as serotonin, relaxin, oxytocin, dopamine and endorhins. Reading this made me admit to myself that my current mental and emotional state was leading me toward an early scenario X and if I had other plans then it was time to make a change. It felt like one of those AHA moments!
People will say "the mental part is equally important" however in my case positive thinking alone is simply not enough, it has to come from my very core and I am not talking about belief. When it comes from my core it is Faith, and now we are talking about one of the most powerful attributes in our being. This AHA moment also reminded me of the 6 powerful human attributes that I discovered 13 years ago during my 17 month Hepatitis C cure, Love, Faith, Acceptance, Trust, Appreciation and Hope. I remembered just how crucial Faith was for me at that time.
I realised that June's discouraging CT scan news that the tumors were growing at a seemingly unstoppable rate had actually blown my faith out of the water and without the possibility of a cure (at that time we did not know about the Rotterdam clinic and IV treatment) my hope had also dwindled and become hard to find. No wonder I felt weak!
Feeling encouraged, I rewrote my bucket list, identified the items on it that I feel are my "passions" and taking Kelly Turner's good advice, now instead of focusing on the cancer (and worrying), I garner faith behind my treatment and I focus on the things that I really want to do in this life, my passions and this seems to have done the trick! I feel much better already.
This week's "new dawn" and energy shift is certainly due to the collective impact of all of the above, however I do believe it is mostly because I have allowed my 6 powerful friends, Love, Faith, Acceptance, Trust, Appreciation and Hope, to run the show!
Safe to say, I recommend anyone involved with cancer, either as a patient or a caretaker, to read "Radical Remission" by Dr Kelly Turner.