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Joshua Earle

These days I am not sure if my progress is moving forward, backwards or if I am just treading water. The Anemia does not seem to be improving much more in the last week and the pain in my chest (in the location of the tumor occupying the portal vein) is recurring more regularly over the past three weeks. I don't know if that is the tumor growing and exerting more pressure on that area around the liver or as the "eternal optimist" in me would like to believe, it is the tumor shrinking!

All I can do is take it one day at a time.

In the long term, I see the pressure quietly gnawing away at our resilience, having an adverse effect on our optimism and well being. Recently Jenny and I have both been feeling the strain from being on this difficult path for the last 21 months. The way it goes is that tensions tend to accumulate until one of us finds it too much to bear and has an emotional eruption, at that point we will open up and share what is bothering us, that usually results in us having a good cry together, which helps to clear the air and harmony to return.

As the "patient" it is all too easy to become focussed on my own well being and forget that Jenny has her own, different challenges to face. She also needs just as much love, care and attention as I do.

Yea, sometimes this road gets bumpy and rough, overall I think we are doing well. I try to look at the rose, not the thorns, then every day there appears to be much for which I can be grateful.

Tommorrow my dear friend Will drives me to Eindhoven for another Aqua Tilis session, I wouldn't be able to make that journey without his help, he is a star!